March 2, 2017
Ok, people have been mentioning that they like pics I and my friend took in Malioboro, if you haven't seen it already you can check it on my post ((here)). They said that it looked like I was in Japan or South Korea haha. Well, so this is the second time we do a photoshoot in Malioboro. Actually there was a concept to this, but the problem was we worked in two - like we always do - so I took her photos and she did mine. We couldn't really pull of this photoshoot as a concept since there was nobody to take pics of me and her in a frame. So yeah, here you go. And about my outfits, I think my concept was like "a peculiar kid who runs away from home" or something along the line haha. I wore a friend's oversized hoodie, knee-high socks I got from Newchic, and my dear Converse. The one under my knee is a choker, not that the socks has love ring like that. And well, the reason why we chose Malioboro again was that we needed crowds. Malioboro is soooo crowded nowadays, it attracts more and more people to come since it has fully constructed. The problem was just, everybody also took pics there so it was like how we wouldn't get in their way and vice versa. Really tho, if you haven't visited the new Malioboro yet, you should. Make sure to dress up nicely and take tons of pics.
February 24, 2017
Things are going back when I thought I already got over them. Nope, it's not. I'm mad. I'm mad with everything. I'm mad with people how they are not being respectful. Is that it? They don't respect me, is it because I'm doing things bad? So they judge me? Everything I do is never enough because they're all not good. I'm mad with myself. See? I still have this severe self-loath. Things are just going around and around and it's going back. Do I only focus on the negative side? Am I being self-centered? Might be the case. What I feel, not that I can handle it. I only want to create arts I like. But, what if mine is not selling out? What if people don't love my works? What if people don't love me as an artist or as a person they can relate to? This is crazy. I feel like I'm an insane garbage to have thoughts like this. Everything, literally, will only lead me back to this. My option? To ignore everything and keep producing things, the only one. What I feel is just a burst of emotion, I need to get over it again and again. Maybe in days I could feel better and I could laugh and make jokes to everything. Maybe in weeks or months I could feel devastated. I think I just need to live it. I don't know. But well, fingers crossed.